Hi! My name is Toby Cryns, and I travel the USA under my secret code name, Cryns #3.

I like to make up songs about my cat when I’m in the shower. Sometimes I wonder what the world would be like if refrigerators were made of chocolate. I have 2 sisters, 4 brothers, a mom, a dad, a grandma, a cat named Chewbacca, a niece who writes beautiful songs, a nephew who can climb ladders, and one hell of a VHS collection. Seriously. In my cabinet is:

- Revenge of the Nerds
- Back to School
- A few episodes of G.I. Joe
- An episode of Jem
- Caddyshack
- Dumb & Dumber
- and countless others.

I am willing to swap VHS tapes if you have something good. Mainly, I’m looking for Teen Wolf, Gleaming the Cube, Rad, and other SWEET 80’s movies. I will also trade for ice cream.

My music is about my ex girlfriends, my current girlfriend, my family, the food I eat, and the reasons why George W. Bush must go. I used to work in politics, so I know a thing or two about this shit, and Dubya is the WORST PRESIDENT EVER!

Oh! And I whole-heartedly endorse internet dating for a variety of reasons. And I also deplore it for a variety of other reasons.

Please feel free to comment, email, respond, fart, burp, eat some smores, or send me sexy photos of your dog.