Hi, Jenna! I’m very much looking forward to continuing our conversation.

I’d like to share a couple of versions of the musical with you:

1. The first 5 songs of Act 1 with the full band. [jump down]
   We’re in the process of recording the album, and these are very rough mixes from our full band recordings. These 5 recordings will give you a sense for the rock sound and arrangements.
2. Jon, Ryan, and me singing the entire musical around a piano. This was recorded with a cellphone sitting on a piano and is lots of fun! [jump down].

Below are also Lyrics, About Us, and About the Musical.

-Toby

The first 5 songs of Act 1 with the full band.

1. The Colorado State Wrestling Championship (mp3)
2. I’m gonna marry me a blonde man! (mp3)
3. Gayle Marries Ted! (mp3)
4. We will build a home! (mp3)
5. 20,000 Men! (mp3)

Jon, Ryan, and me singing the entire musical around a piano:

1. Happy Endings Church Act 1 (mp3)
2. Happy Endings Church Act 2 (mp3)

Lyrics:

Act 1: The Fall of Ted Haggard Lyrics:

1. The Colorado High School State Wrestling Championship
2. I’m gonna marry me a blonde man! 
3. Gayle Marries Ted!
4. We will build a home!
5. 20,000 Men!
6. The stuff a Godly woman Must do for her man.
7. How do I control my fire?!
8. The Professional
9. Fence Builders For Christ & Their Evil Spots
10. Hi Mike. It’s Art from Kansas City
11. Hard Hitting News
12. Good old fashioned church, part 1

Act 2: The Rise of Gayle Lyrics:

13. Good Old Fashioned Church, part 2
14. I believe in the fire!
15. Gay Christian conversion therapy with Dr. Svehla
16. Cancel the Credit Cards!
17. Gayle will be there for Ted.
18. The escape.
19. Straight as an arrow!
20. The fight!
21. Happy Endings Church!

About Us

All three of us co-writers have written and produced many rock albums over the years, some albums in collaboration with each other. Over the years, we’ve grown to love musicals, and this is our first musical together. Jon previously wrote and produced Beowulf: The Rock Opera Part I and Frankenstein: The Rock Opera, which was staged at Davidson College many moons ago. Jon has tipped us off to the enormous challenges involved in staging a musical – We remain undaunted. We do need a partner to pull this off, and if this musical peaks your curiosity, as it has ours, then we’d love to converse more about how we can do this thing together!

– Toby, Ryan, Jon

About the Musical

Happy Endings Church is the story of Gayle Haggard’s journey to hell and back. Gayle is a horny teen who can’t wait to get married and experience married things. Later she’s an experienced wife who is put through God’s trials. Her husband, Ted, is an up-and-coming Evangelical pastor, then the leader of the Christian Right, then a disgraced pastor, before Gayle lifts him up again (but not before she takes the reigns of their future). It’s a rock opera/musical/comedy, and there’s only one respectable person in the whole thing – the prostitute.

Ted & Gayle are real humans who advised George W. Bush on religious matters while he was President and appeared on Oprah multiple times. This musical is a satire, though almost everything that happens in the musical is based on either real-life events or the Book of Exodus.